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Joke of the Day

"Never underestimate a well placed ""that's what she said"". Unless your boss is standing behind you. Thanks for the heads up Michelle."

"Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated."

"Q: What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together? A: Dino-mite."

"What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine? Boaris Karloff."

"OPEN UP THIS IS THE COPS What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]"

"Is your wife single?"

"Did you hear about the porn star who got jizz in her eye during a scene? She didn't see that one coming."

"CIVIL WAR SPOILER: A lot of people in the South still don't know they lost."

"Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?"

"A local business in my town has an open carry discount. As in, you show them a gun to save money. Doesn't that discount apply everywhere?"