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Joke of the Day

"A good place to hide a body would be the DVD section of a Best Buy."

"Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup? Waiter: Probably learning to read."

"HR: The delivery job is yours. Me: Great! HR: Do u have a reliable car? Me: Yes. HR: Model? Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?"

"I'm really surprised I decided to get Botox. At least I think I'm surprised, I can't really tell."

"Don't judge someone because they sin differently than you."

"A son walks up to his dad and tells him: ""Dad, did you know in other countries you don't know who your wife is until you get married?"" His dad replies: ""It's like that everywhere son."""

"Meet my cat, Hemingway. And my two dogs, Faulkner and Whitman. I know what books are. Ah yes, my macaw approaches. His name is Literature"

"Why did Billy Joel get acquitted? Because he didn't start the fire."

"What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Hillary Clinton? A dickless bull that can't fuck its way into the white house. But who tell which is which?"

"What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were 3 movies."