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Joke of the Day

"Women's Darts The only time they'll see a 180 is when they're programming the oven."

"Did you hear about the terrorist suicide bombers rave party? I heard they had a blast."

"What is the difference between a golfer and skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*."

"ANAESTHETIST: Count backwards from 100 ME: 100..99..98 ME: ..3..2..1..um [looks round] now what? ANAESTHETIST [muffled] You have to find me"

"What does an Irish Samuel L Jackson say when passing someone on the street? Top of the Mornin' Muthafucka!"

"What do we call that one small worm that won't shut up? A chatterpillar"

"How do ants hide from aardvarks? They disguise themselves as uncles!"

"If the music's too loud you're too old."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb? (From a comment in this subredit) YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"

"Girl, you remind me of an alarm clock... ...you were a good idea last night but now I just want you to shut the fuck up"