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Joke of the Day

"Seriously. Once you learn how it reaches your dinner plate, you'll never want to eat human flesh again."

"Sometimes I like to leave seafood restaurants clutching my stomach and whisper ""Don't order the fish,"" to people waiting for tables."

"My younger brother told me this. Why don't crabs give to charity? Because they are shellfish"

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? You slow down and use lube ( )"

"Hate it when people ask me what I will be doing five years from now Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision"

"Hello darkness my old friend... I've walked into a wall again."

"I just hit a Smart car and now it's my hood ornament."

"What's the difference between a tribe of wild hunting pygmies and a Women's roller derby team? The Pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts."

"What's the worst thing about owning a dildo farm? You get squatters."

"Procrastinators be like; Sofa so good My attempt on pun"