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Joke of the Day

"I'd let Jesus take the wheel but... I don't know how to speak spanish."

"Two chickens were chatting around the coop. ""That big rooster next door made a pass at me!"" one exclaimed. ""Really? Did you provoke him?"" ""Well, I egged him on a little."""

"My wife bought me Dunkin Donuts k-cups for my Keurig... Now, it's like I finally have an Indian in the Cupboard."

"What is the oldest joke in the book? The first one written"

"Wife just instructed me on the best way to trim my beard. So now I'm explaining to her the proper way to change a tampon."

"Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays."

"In Flint, Michigan, students have no difficulty learning A G and P Z. The problem's H to O."

"My 9 year old daughter just beat me at Wii baseball... I'll bet she's on the juice."

"How do you get an elephant into a Safeway shopping cart? Take the ""S"" out of safe and the ""F"" out of way!"

"Why was the road upset when the chicken went over him twice? It didn't like being double crossed."