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Joke of the Day

"Waking up to a ""fcuk you"" text message instead of a ""good morning"" one is surprisingly not that bad."

"""LOLZ""? Really? Did you laugh so loud you fell asleep?"

"Surprisingly, Mike Rowe from the show Dirty Jobs has trouble with women. They all say he has a Mike Rowe penis."

"Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered."

"Diner: Could I have a glass of water? Waiter: To drink? Diner: No I want to rinse out a few things."

"What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a drink? ""Olive or twist?"""

"I have now been sober for eighteen months. Not in a row..."

"6.9 A good time interrupted by a period"

"Has anyone else noticed that the symbol ""&"" looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?"

"My mom (seriously) asked if my friend's brother ""still had down syndrome."" No mother, he walked it off."