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Joke of the Day

"Everyone wants to see fifty shades of grey Being colorblind fucking sucks!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ammon ! Ammon who ? Ammon old hand at picking locks !"

"[donating blood] Me [feeling lightheaded]: I'm gonna need that back"

"So this girl makes her own hummus. We're in different tax brackets I'm guessing."

"PLOT TWIST: MARIJUANA is the drug against wars."

"why did the chicken cross the road? to show the deer how it's done"

"""There is no GREG in 'team.' "" - super mean way to cut Greg from junior varsity."

"reminder: the best way to say benedict cumberbatch is to the tune of photograph by nickelback"

"If anyone knows how to increase the size of my penis or where I can buy cheap viagra or a rolex watch, please email me every day about it"

"Have you heard the one about the Imaginary man? You haven't? Me neither!"