116725

Joke of the Day

"A romcom where I go to stop you at the airport, except I go to Cinnabon & then forget why I'm at the airport."

"Why aren't hippies good pitchers? Because they're always high and outside."

"Friend: ""This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend."" Me: ""This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come when I call him."""

"What is the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on"

"If necessity is the mother of invention why does so much unnecessary stuff get invented?"

"What does a mermaid wear to math class? An ""algebra"""

"If I ever open a bakery.... I will call it ""The Bread Pit"""

"1. Dial random number. 2. Wait for answering machine. 3. Say ""My wife is out of town, I miss you"". 4. Hang up. 5. Happy Valentine's Day."

"An 81-year-old woman in the U.K. went sky diving to help raise money for a local hospital. They didn't raise a lot of money, but they did get a new patient"

"How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking? Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time."