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Joke of the Day

"1. Dial random number. 2. Wait for answering machine. 3. Say ""My wife is out of town, I miss you"". 4. Hang up. 5. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Did you hear about the engineer who was trying to truncate a table? They say his technique was cutting-edge"

"My toddler eats with her right hand but is ambidextrous when it comes to total destruction."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who cloned himself to see what he would taste like? It made him shit himself."

"I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix... Anybody got a punch line?"

"Thanks for explaining the word ""many"" to me. It means a lot."

"Dirty deeds done at a reasonable price with a quantity discount. That seems like a more sustainable business model."

"In the city of Chicago There are 3 streets that rhyme with vagina. Paulina, Malvina and Lunt."

"9 out of 10 therapist agree to just be yourself The other one realizes that's what got you into this shit in the first place."

"What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas? Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)"