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Joke of the Day
"My new years resolution is 3840 X 2160 because I recently bought a 4K monitor."
Next Joke
"[out in public] Me: A kid is crying. Wife: It's not one of ours. [we fist bump]"
"What is green and slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit the frog's finger..."
"What's the difference between an orphanage and a beach ball? You won't go to prison for blowing up a beach ball."
"I wanna thank my mom for not aborting me and my dad for buying cheap condoms. Love you guys"
"Why are magnets so arousing? They're very attractive."
"What kind of pizza would the twin towers order? Two plains."
"I can swallow a rope and poop out a lasso I shit you knot."
"Now where do you get off >:( I'm the bus driver, I need to know"
"Jared Fogle Of Subway Started and Ended His Career The Same Way. Trying to get into smaller pants."