116550

Joke of the Day

"My nipples are sore but I know I don't have a baby in the oven because I took the baby out when I had to put the pot roast in."

"When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance."

"Whats your name? Whats the color of the sky?... Me: whats your name? You:(insert name) Me:whats the color of the sky? You:blue Me:whats my name? Now put it all together."

"How are having sex in a canoe and American beer alike? They're both fuckin' close to water"

"(Alt Joke) Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . . title"

"i need to stop imagining scenarios in my head that have a -2% chance of actually happening it's becoming a problem"

"What happens at night in Bangladesh? It gets Dhaka"

"So I opened an egg today and something came out. That's the yolk."

"Did you know you can just buy live lobsters? Anyway can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters"

"""Who watches this shit?"" - Me, watching shit"