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Joke of the Day

"A team of scientists have invented a pill for sufferers of Alzheimer's to take daily. They didn't think that through did they?"

"When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!"

"The difference between a Life Scout and an Eagle Scout. A Life Scout is ready for anything. The Eagle Scout is ready for Murphy's Law."

"What is Jared Fogle's favorite meat in his Subway subs? 9 year old weiners"

"I need a new car.. The one I have keeps taking me to work."

"I don't have to be attractive. I am an asshole. Women swarm to me."

"What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed? Isaac Newton died a virgin"

"Doctor doctor I feel like a small bucket. You do look a little pail."

"I think I have a genetic predisposition to diarrhea... It runs in my jeans."

"What's going be America's largest export once Trump gets elected? Americans."