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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, if you stop to help an armored truck broke down on the side road, they'll mace and taser you. In that order."

"There are two Jehovah's Witnesses outside... They're applauding my house for some reason."

"My aunt used to say ""slow and steady wins the race"" she died in a fire"

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who plays the piano? Clever Dick."

"Got so high last night we searched for my friend for half an hour while he helped us look"

"9/11 Who? Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? I thought you said you would never forget!"

"I hate proof reading. I like to think that whatever I wrote the first time around is already perefct."

"We are happily married She's happy, and I am married!"

"Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch."

"If Women Ruled the World"