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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear how the scarecrow got his promotion?"

"Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month? She must have called a 1,000 times"

"If you think you aren't creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it."

"[1st date] Me: don't let him know you're a lobster Him: we should check out my hot-tub later Me: 'yeah...sure' *nervously clicks claws*"

"How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ? Because rolling stones gather no moths !"

"""Hey sorry Im overprotective, guess I just get nervous since I watched OUR FAMILY GET MURDERED!"" -What the dad on Finding Nemo shouldve said"

"Why would you download a car when you can download a shark, I'd bet it would be at least one gigabyte."

"I was going to copy and paste a joke but then I cut it"

"I remember the last thing my granpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. he said, ""hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"I caught my son jerking off a wolf, so to teach him a lesson I made him stroke the whole pack."