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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, ""Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?"" The bartender shakes his head and says, ""No, we only have plain."""

"hello 911 ""whats your emergency"" there's someone in my home ""are you safe?"" it's a girl ""do you like her"" *starts twirling hair* I dont know"

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Without a penis"

"Girl, if you were a camel, I'd hump you!"

"I'm addicted to algebra I can't **function** without it!"

"Her: You have very beautiful hair. Me: Oh, you flirt! *Hands me her card* Her: If you're ever thinking about selling it, call me..."

"My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized"

"When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences."

"Do you know how NASCAR got its name? It's from North Carolina. There were a bunch of dudes standing around a car, and one of them said, ""That's a nas' car."""

"TIL the Hebrews were betrayed and captured by the Egyptians after walking through the Red Sea The event was named ""Moses' double cross""."