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Joke of the Day

"I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. Well, I think she was poor. She only had 1.30 in her purse."

"He saved his family three times in the Taken films and got no thanks. The next one should be called Taken 4: Granted"

"What is the best formula for leaving Auschwitz? Lenght of chimney x wind speed"

"What do you call a flower in Florida? Orlando Bloom."

"At my mom's house. Just asked if we could record Dateline and she said she doesn't have a blank VHS tape and now my left arm is numb."

"I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes"

"What's worse than finding your first grey pubic hair...... ....finding it between your teeth."

"Asked my friend what's he's going to wear for Halloween... ""Probably a condom."""

"Sometimes you'll hate a person when you first meet because it saves time."

"My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support."