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Joke of the Day

"I had to quit my job as a Microsoft delivery man It got awkward telling people I was giving word to their mother."

"you down with ADD? yeah you know me"

"What's got six legs and can fly long distances ? Three swallows !"

"What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn? You can't play football with the remote."

"Do you have pet insurance? Coz I'm gonna destroy your pussy tonight"

"Male Birth Control. ....Because its easier to unload the gun than shooting at a bulletproof vest."

"""Remember six seconds ago when you were comfortable?"" - oscillating fans"

"I met a girl with 12 nipples today. She was a bitch."

"WebMD has a mobile app now. An app!!! A quick, easy and convenient way to diagnose yourself with cancer anywhere!"

"Did you hear about the French Olympic race walker who pooped his pants mid race? At least he didn't oui in them too."