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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: you're never too old to start exercising Me: cool thanks i'll start in maybe like 15 years then"

"What did Mr. Orange say to Anna Banana when she asked what his first name was in rhyme world? Fuck off"

"What did the teacher say after spending thousands in the expensive hotel? I'm sorry to leave now that I've almost bought the place."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, ""Well I can clearly see you're nuts."""

"Do you know why WWII got the world out of The Great Depression? Because we got all the money back from the Jews."

"During the Oscars ""In Memoriam"" my dad pointed out a lot of Jewish people had died, I told him it isn't surprising, they do tend to die all at once like that."

"Hey, how about making a normal fucking face when you sing?"

"How to insult a nerd ""Is rhat an Apple Watch?"""

"Texas principal: If that's a homemade clock and not a bomb, what time is it? Muslim student: Time for a lawsuit."

"FB makes HS reunions awkward. Hey, I haven't seen you 20 years. So how was that nap you took this afternoon?"