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Joke of the Day
"""Luke, I have no idea who your father is."" #AlternateUniverseFilms"
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"She invited me over for a romantic dinner and told me I was the dessert. I wanted ice cream."
"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber"
"What does as electronic engineer make for breakfast? Ohmlettes"
"The only French I know are words for food items and the chorus of Lady Marmelade. Turns out that's all you really need."
"The difference between dead babies and vegetables? I don't eat my vegetables."
"I came home to my wife yelling ""The square root of pi!"" angrily. I told her she was being irrational."
"Upon hearing that my donor is in Eugene, I proceeded to inform my wife that, ""My heart is in Oregon."" She replied, ""I know what a heart is!"""
"Based on the musicians who thanked him at the Grammys, I gotta say: I'm not crazy for God's taste in music."
"I love Fight Club! I showed up a little late so I missed the first few rules but I can't wait to go next week!"