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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke? You can't top a good pizza joke."

"I'm worried my dog will never find out who's a good boy."

"If u ever rob someones house just bring guacamole that way if they catch you you can just yell surprise and tell them they're having a party"

"Despite it being close to Christmas, I'm still on my Summer diet... ...I'll have summer that, summer that, and summer that."

"I'm far less concerned with who let it out, and more curious as to why the cat was in the bag in the first place?"

"Little known fact: Impotent men watch soft porn."

"So I watched my first porno the other day... I'd have to say, damn I looked good."

"The zoo is a really bad place to pick up cougars. I thought that one was flirting with me and now I'm missing most of a hand and bleeding. Please send paramedics."

"So my wife discovered I keep writing ""please help me"" in the memo line of all my personal checks and now I'm not allowed to have checks."

"Dark humor is like food Some people just don't get it"