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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Helen Kellet was born near Troy, Alabama? I guess that's why they called her ... yhe little deaf girl who couldn't see neither"

"Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want"

"when asked about the future of artificial intelligence.... some people say it will be a catastrophic cataclysmic calamity.... and some people say that's what she said."

"I was watching a movie with my son the other day. He got scared and asked me, ""Daddy, is that woman really gonna die?"" I said, ""Judging by the size of that horse's cock, yes."""

"Whenever I hear an uninteresting 80 year old woman tell an uninteresting story I think, ""Wow, you must have been really hot."""

"What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue? I'm stuck."

"DENTIST: Been flossing? ME: Yup D: [reaches into my mouth & pulls out a copy of the NY Times dated 7/5/14] I put this in there last time"

"Knock Knock Joke 'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'Atch' 'Atch who?' 'Excuse you'"

"What's a pickup artist's favorite breakfast? Steak and negs. In shame and solitude"

"A man once got his penis cut off he used to be a dick... now he is just nuts."