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Joke of the Day

"My wife's been nagging me to see the dentist about a tooth extraction. She says getting me to go is like pulling teeth."

"What is a pirate's favorite element? Argon"

"What do you call a bee that gets engaged? A Beyonce."

"I feel creepy every time I 'follow' someone. Where are they going to take me? I hope its somewhere good"

"Anyone wanting to hide information from me should just put it in a spreadsheet and email it to me."

"What is Russia's favorite type of pasta? Putinesca"

"What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? ""Attention K-Mart shoppers..."""

"Turn your proctologist into a magician by stuffing 45 feet of scarves in your butt."

"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"

"I bet when you barge in on a chicken rapist and say ""Guess what!?"" they really mean it when they say ""Chicken butt."""