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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a pizza? I don't peel the crust off of a pizza before I eat it"

"How did Christopher Columbus 'discover' America? By occident"

"If Spooning leads to Forking, what does Knifing lead to? Abortions."

"I'm good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I'm putting off until later."

"How do you tell a dyslectic to take the left turn on the road? Turn toward your side!"

"Welcome to the Alzheimer's information support page... ...please enter your 17 digit password."

"Three blind ______ In Asia, its not 3 blind mice. It's 3 blind rice."

"Don't regret past mistakes. All of your decisions, good and bad, led you to where you are today. Disregard this if you are in prison."

"I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said ""OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"" ...so I drove her to New Jersey."

"What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters? This is non-cents!"