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Joke of the Day

"When the ex asks to be friends... it's like your mum telling you that your dog is dead but you can keep it."

"Sometimes therapy is as simple as nodding to the dude next to you stuck in traffic. I feel you brother."

"A drunk was seen by a cop thrusting his hips every couple of steps as he staggered down the road. Cop catches up to him and asks him what he was doing? Drunk says...... Fucking nothing."

"What is white and 14 inches long? Absolutely nothing. It's MLK weekend, lets have your best white jokes."

"[orders pizza] Would you also like our cheesy bread, comes with sauce? Are you trying to sell me a side of pizza with my pizza? 2 please."

"What do you call a Middle Eastern sorceress? A sandwitch."

"If a Tesla car gets stolen . . . would it be called an Edison?"

"Sociology homework. I need to compile ten jokes. 5 from females, 5 from males. Could I please get jokes, as well as genders?"

"Two chicken are gossiping... And one of them says to the other: ""You know Brad?"" ""Yeah."" ""He's a total dick."""

"Stupid one liners everyone should know I'll start: I recently sold my vaccum. It was just collecting dust."