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Joke of the Day

"How do mathematicians cure constipation? They work it out with a pencil."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank hot chocolate before it was cool."

"Knock Knock Walter White: knock knock. Skyler : knock knock who? Walter White: I am the one who knocks."

"Jokes are like paper airplanes I suck at making them"

"My doctor told me, ""DON'T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm."" CHALLENGE ACCEPTED"

"I heard they are digging up Micheal Jackson Gonna melt him down use the plastic to make toys, so little boys can play with him for a change."

"Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward"

"My boss: ""Sean, what do you know about Twitter?"" Me: ""nothing. Why? What have you heard?"""

"Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest."

"Hey, I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys, chase douche bags, and then complain about it"