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Joke of the Day

"Yoko Ono is apparently being lined up to assist with the bush tucker trials in the I'm a Celebrity jungle. After all she has been living off a dead beetle for the last 36 years."

"I had to stop eating clocks, it was too time consuming."

"How do you know if a black woman is pregnant? Stick a banana up her cooter, if it comes out half eaten, you've got a monkey on the way!"

"Did you hear about the prize-winning author that got a chicken in the mail? It was a pullet surprise!"

"A few weeks ago I mentioned toilet paper in a tweet and got toilet paper in the mail. So, here goes: dragons."

"My Social Studies classes never taught me relevant social topics like ""How to ask a girl out,"" ""How much to pay her,"" or ""Will HIV kill me?"""

"Ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolates. They'll kill your dog."

"Jesus came to me the other night Please let me out."

"Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don't have & waste an entire day without having a life."

"Nine out of ten doctors agree that dying is bad for your health. The other doctor is clad in a dark robe and carrying a scythe."