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Joke of the Day

"I heard the Spanish were trying to make a drug out of kinetic energy... Be careful though, because you could get an Mv^2 overdose."

"If seagulls fly over the sea,what flies over the bay? Bagels. Ha."

"What do you get if you cross a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"Did you hear about the farmer who equipped all his horses with firearms? He was a man who really wanted more bang for his buck."

"Smooth jazz always puts me to sleep... ...must be the mellow tonin'."

"I love meeting new people. Meating. I love meating new people."

"Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person."

"whenever u hear a creak at night, dont wory its nothimg scary! its just a reminder that somthing u think is solid like a house actualy moves"

"Things I've learned as a mom: Kiss boo boo's. Say I love you a lot. Snuggle when they ask. Do laundry daily. Hide the good snacks."

"In London Homosexuals pay gigolos in pounds and get the change in pennies."