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Joke of the Day

"Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed."

"What football position did the forever alone play? Left Out"

"What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed? Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!"

"With this new winter storm on the way, it looks like Boston is going to get hammered again. They'll also be getting snow too."

"Honey, can we skip that wedding this weekend? ""What? Why?"" It sounds boring and there's no way that couple makes it.. ""It's OUR wedding!"""

"Pretty sure Craigslist is just a secret genetics lab and they send out their failed experiments to come pick up the stuff you sell there."

"Why are all these jokes about unhappy relationships? Said my wife as she looked over my shoulder. What a nosy fucking bitch."

"*wife phones* ""Hi!"" ""Hi! Did you clean the house?"" ""Uhh...YUP!"" ""OK, I'm coming home. Need anything?"" ""Yes, about 2 hours."""

"I heard that the factories in China will be close until the next GOP president. A liberal joke"

"If accounts on every social media site have taught me anything it's that I'm so glad my family doesn't know my username."