114659

Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me that I have ADHD but when I got home and checked, I still only have basic cable. Lying bastard!"

"Was just told to take my labor day decorations down. I guess a giant inflatable woman giving birth in your front yard is tacky or something."

"My love life is like my video game I always play single player, and I can never find anyone who wants to play co-op"

"Why did the cup fall over? Because it was drunk."

"Feel sorry for Julio Cesar tonight. Last time I saw a Brazilian facing this many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at Stockwell."

"Running a custard factory has its challenges You really go through thick and thin."

"Knock knock! ""Who's there?"" -To ""To who?"" -To *whom*"

"If Donald Trump replaces Obama.... ...Does that mean Orange is the new Black?"

"I didn't realize how religious the Japanese are. Always asking me if I have a pray station at home."

"I was addicted to hokey pokey But then I turned myself around"