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Joke of the Day

"What has the Middle East and Kim Kardashian's ass got in common? Both are massive, have oil and have been invaded by the west."

"What did the West African boy eat for breakfast? Ebola oatmeal..."

"is a cat supposed to shit more than i shit? asking for a cat that shits more than i shit."

"Woman at drive-thru just called me ""honey."" Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike."

"A midget walked into a bar I guess it was set too low."

"I'm eating a bottle of glitter so when I get drunk and throw up tonight people will think I'm a unicorn in human form."

"Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes? There was a sin tax error. [8.5]"

"How do you spot will smith in the snow? Just look for the fresh prints."

"They're coming for me They're banging on my doors. I haven't eaten an apple in months. They're forcing their way in in. The doctors are here. Tell mum I love her."

"Someone stole all the toilet seats at the station! Authorities have nothing to go on."