114589

Joke of the Day

"""I am cleaning up my friends list"" should be changed to ""I'm notifying you that you should give me attention and argue your friendship level to me."""

"Jokes What kind of bees make milk"

"*breaks into your house at night* *finds your bedroom* *blows on you til you wake up* HI I'M CHET CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SECURITY SYSTEM?"

"Alan Turing was so gay it was illegal"

"I was gonna take a selfie, but I just checked the mirror and I still have the same face."

"So I started up my PC today and all the work on my thesis was gone Who let the .docx out?"

"My future is so bright I need to stay in my room browsing reddit until nightfall."

"What's it called when a hippy hangs himself? Tie-die"

"My wife is not speaking to me. We watched an old video of our wedding and she realized that I said ""You'll do"" instead of ""I do."""

"Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He was a fungi. Why did he end up leaving the party? There wasn't mushroom."