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Joke of the Day
"""prepare for battle"" they said Yet they didnt prepare themselves"
Next Joke
"I speak 3 languages. Unfortunately no one else in the world speaks 2 of them."
"""nooooooo!!!"" - 20 yr old me seeing how much weed 35 yr old me brushes onto the floor to get ready for company"
"If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe's poker table you're too mature for me."
"Why did America remove the ""u"" from ""colour""? Because fuck u that's why"
"What do you say when the inventor of the telephone falls over? Alexander Graham Fell!"
"This looks like a job for.. *I rip open my jacket* Jacket Repair Man! *I sew my jacket back together*"
"What is a pirate's least favorite letter? A letter from the cable company..."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.."
"If your dog is fat it means that you don't get enough exercise."