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Joke of the Day

"Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldn't increase my pay but if I told him the names of the three men he'd fire them."

"Once, just once, I'd like to be able to use the word skedaddling in an everyday conversation."

"How many PETA members does it take to change light bulb? none, PETA can't change anything."

"Why are all black people fast? Because the slow ones are in jail."

"What do you call a guy with 15 rabbits up his arse? Warren."

"If you pull a lizard's tail off, it will grow back. If you pull it off again, the lizard will be like ""dude."""

"I had a friend buy a European car and he kept telling me about it breaking down. I had to tell him that I didn't want to hear anymore of his Saab stories."

"Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak? [x-post /r/puns] Scotch."

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fish."