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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the ""Dirty Jobs"" guy beating someone up? A Mike Rowe Aggression"

"Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk? Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)"

"Well no wonder we haven't cured cancer yet. Our standard for the ""best medicine"" is laughter."

"Well I was going to donate blood today until.... the lady got all personal and started asking, ""Who's blood is this?"" and ""How did you get it?"""

"Why did the girl spray her clock? It was full of ticks."

"How can you tell a skinhead is shaved down there When the carpet matches the drapes"

"What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country."

"[Marvel Avengers Age of Ultron Spoilers] If Captain Americas shield is made of Vibranium what is Hawkeye's shield made of? Quicksilver"

"The fact that I have to debate evolution with people means it doesn't work quite as well as I'd like it to."

"I was sitting on an automatic toilet yesterday and it flushed underneath me before I was done. Scared the shit outta me."