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Joke of the Day

"Met a microbiologist this morning He was bigger than I expected."

"The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart."

"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"

"I told my parents to vote for Trump... So I wouldn't have to take Spanish in high school"

"I licked 8 lollipops and sealed them in ziplocs during my stomach flu if anyone needs to lose 5lbs by the weekend."

"What kind of comedian becomes more famous if they bomb than if they don't? An Islamic one."

"I don't appreciate my son's teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework."

"What wears a leather jacket, and would kill you if it fell from a tree? An elephant wearing a leather jacket!"

"GEEK BOOTY CALL... CHARISMA Looks like somebody rolled a 20 on their Charisma check!"

"I promise to remain the same grounded, gracious, friend I've always been after winning $7 from Powerball #dreams"