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Joke of the Day

"How do hipsters measure weight? In Instagrams."

"Knock Knock Batman: Who's there? Alfred: Not your parents. :D"

"How did the toilet paper beat the asshole in the election? With a smear campaign."

"Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet? Because it had too many threads."

"Two peanuts were walking down the road ...one was assaulted!"

"Why are Australians so well balanced? They have a chip on both shoulders."

"The militia had killed my entire family and left me for dead. Thank God for Buzzfeed's 17 Pictures That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity."

"[Every restaurant ever] Manager: ""Has he got a mouthful of food?"" Waiter: ""Yes."" Manager: ""Go and ask him how his meal is."""

"PLEASE PEOPLE: Don't forget to ""like"" before you copy & paste. Thank you."

"What goes: 'click' is that it? 'click' is that it? 'click' is that it? A blind guy with a rubix cube"