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Joke of the Day

"[watching ""Cinderella""] 5-year-old: Why does she keep cleaning the floors? Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba."

"Which character of Pokemon is a jew? Ash"

"If you don't have a condom, put a stone in your shoe.. ...it'll make you limp."

"Why did the hippy drown at the beach? Because he was too far out mannnn."

"What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand? Bury-toes. Hah hah"

"If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were in a car crash, who would survive? America"

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face..."

"My new thesaurus is terrible in fact I'd go as far to say that it's terrible"

"For 30 minutes after my first cup if coffee I love everybody. If I could bottle that feeling we could fix the world."

"My favorite letter is elamenopee."