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Joke of the Day

"One in every two and half men are HIV positive. Donate today red.org #tigerblood #WINNING"

"So excited to go and watch 'the Evil Dead' next week. Anyone else going to Thatcher's funeral? Bring 'em on! Post em all here."

"""I can hear music coming out of my printer. I think the paper's jammin' again."""

"The head of the 2016 Somali Olympic squad has apologized to officials on behalf of their team... ...after realizing shooting and sailing were two separate events."

"ME: I got pizza sauce on my mouse. I need a new one. IT DEPARTMENT: You should just be able to wipe it off. ME: Too late, I ate it."

"I'm a human alarm clock so when I wake up this early for no reason, I punch myself in the face to turn myself off."

"[mom ridiculing me in front of new GF] ""Luke was afraid to go into family changing rooms until 22 because he thought he'd get a new family"""

"Want to hear a joke about sodium? Na."

"What is Minecraft? It's Hitler's lesser known second book about his love of knitting. Officially the title is Mein Kraft but, the kids like this spelling more."

"What did my wife say to me? I want a divorce"