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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a woman and a computer? The woman won't take a 2.5 inch floppy."

"What's a hipster's favorite painkiller? It's a local anthesisia anesthesia, you've probably never heard of it."

"What do you get with breaking news? News casts"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"Q: What does Clinton do to lose weight? A: Runs away from the draft."

"I have an outstanding credit score and even know a dude named Tanner but I'm still not white enough to drink pumpkin beer."

"I just want to make you hot. Mess your hair up. Get your blood flowing. When I chase you around the house over the last piece of pizza."

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? 10: one to change it, one to post about it for karma and eight to repost it a few months later."

"If girls be trippin' as much as I'm told they are... They should go to the doctor to see if they have an ear infection."

"Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager."