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Joke of the Day

"What do Mexicans call a commando? A Juan man army..."

"Why do ducks look so sad? Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth."

"*through a mouthful of Nutella* Oh, yeah, healfy eafing is sufer imfortant to me."

"How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it."

"My friend's boyfriend is an optometrist and a sadomasochist. She says he's a real sight for sore eyes even though he can be a pain in the ass."

"A picture's worth 1,000 words, which explains why Twitter only shows 14 percent of the images I post."

"How does a conceptual artist change a light bulb? He calls it a work of art."

"Today seems like a good day to wash my hair and take 10 selfies wearing 10 different shirts so I can pretend I look human on a regular basis"

"What's gray and all around? Everything. I'm a dog."

"After having Chinese food, my cookie was missing the piece of paper on the inside! It was unfortunate."