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Joke of the Day

"And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids."

"Was told to fuck bitches and get money. All I got was charged with bestiality"

"What are the 2 most important holes in the female body? No, you f**king pervert. It's her nostrils. How else could she breathe while giving you a blowjob?"

"(For Ents) So the D.E.A filed a report So the D.E.A filed a report about the Old lady who swallowed the Fly. Turns out Flies are a Gateway Bug"

"I had some Taco Bell the other night. Shit was spewing out of my ass at 88mph. Now everyone at school calls me Doc Brown."

"What is Swiper the Fox's favorite app? Tinder"

"Need something witty to say after i pee in a cup... Tomorrow is drug test day... Not sure this is actually the right sub for this but watevs."

"If she asks you to be in an open relationship, tell her to walk out that open door. She's a slut."

"At an Irish wedding, someone said, ""Would all the married men stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living?"" The bartender was almost crushed to death."

"I could not stop my baby boy from crying so I poured no tears shampoo in his eyes, it didn't work."