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Joke of the Day

"It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I'm trying to do that & you're lowering my chances."

"Channel 4 are making a documentary about a black man producing cocaine in his bedroom, they're calling it, ""CHOCOLATE & HIS CHARLIE FACTORY."""

"A woman is like a suitcase: both hard to carry and a pity to throw away."

"I told my boyfriend to ""Stop paying games with my card"" He said shut up!, i hate Backstreet boys."

"How does Mario talk to the dead? With a luigi board. Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes."

"Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty B: I don't think that's a weakness M: I don't give a shit what you think."

"The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan. EDIT: Woke up to find THIS :O"

"So i was making a software to help people to stop procrastinating and never finished it."

"My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard."

"""The police are looking for a man with one eye named Murphy."" ""What's the other eye called?"""