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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an Apple and a Prostitute. I don't cum over my apple before I eat it."

"When a programmer is born, what are their first words? ""Hello world!"""

"There is only 2 things you need to know to succeed in life 1. Never help anyone succeed. 2."

"I wanted to bake a cake from scratch, but I'm out of scratch."

"What's up? Up is the Y-axis relative vertical direction opposed to down."

"The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like."

"What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk? Disney spells."

"What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch? An ingestigation"

"What do you have when there's balls on your chest? Chestnuts What do you have when there's balls on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?"