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Joke of the Day

"Conductor: Again from measure 5 if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro we have no measure numbers."

"Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor? ""STOP RESISTING!!!"""

"student: may i use the bathroom? Teacher: as long as you can recite the alphabet. Student: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz Teacher: wheres the p? Student: running down my leg."

"Lyrics in modern hip hop are so bad.."

"An underage sweater walks into a bar for the third time. The bartender says, ""I'm gonna need to see your cardigan."""

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber He had Loco motives"

"Did you hear Justin Timberlake is making a new song based on Oscar Pistorious? It's called Cry Me A Reeva"

"What happens when you piss off a blind mobster Your neighbor gets a horse ass in their bed."

"Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario: Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely."

"I just had a breakthrough....!! I should probably pull my finger out and get some stronger toilet paper...."