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Joke of the Day

"I bought a bowflex, it's very confusing, how do I muscles? do I eat it? do I eat the bowflex?"

"Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? He was stalin."

"Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !"

"What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ? Bring on their subs !"

"June 1885 - The Statue Of Liberty arrives in the U.S. in 350 pieces with no instructions. Future IKEA magnate: ""That gives me an idea."""

"Some days I ask, ""What would Chewbacca do?"" And the answer is always, ""Make that gargly roaring sound."" So that's what I do."

"This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring."

"What do women and grammar Nazis have in common? One missed period is enough to freak them out."

"Why do blondes have ""TGIF"" on the front of their shirts? **T**its **G**o **I**n **F**ront"

"No matter how many times he was killed by their products, Wile E Coyote remained loyal to the ACME brand. You've gotta respect that."