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Joke of the Day

"""Instagram announced they will allow users to see who viewed their profile..."" *wakes up in cold sweat*"

"That girl from The Exorcist was a real head turner"

"What is the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches"

"Which U.S. State has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota."

"I overheard a midget complaining to a police officer that his pocket had been picked. The officer said 'I can't believe anyone would stoop that low'"

"I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute."

"What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e that is the question."

"What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert? Joint custardy"

"DJ Khaleds Favorite Number is 11 Because it has another 1"

"And the Lord said to Peter ""come forth and you will receive eternal life"". But Peter came fifth and won a toaster."