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Joke of the Day

"If a mathematician were to be any part of a kitchen which would he be? The counter."

"During your interview, try ending every sentence with ""dot jpg"". ""How would you say you handle job pressure?"" --Not a problem.jpg"

"What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ? Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !"

"""I came, I saw, I left."" - Premature ejaculator after visiting a porno shop."

"A group of crows plan a meet up... it was a premeditated murder."

"The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence."

"I was shocked to find out the girl I slept with last night was 16. She looked 12 to me..."

"It's a shame that the Woman in Pakistan got stoned... ...but Jihad it coming."

"[Exchanging gifts at family's house] *family opens up my gifts -uh, a history book? Your Facebook post suggested that you needed it."

"A joke I thought of back in the 5th grade. Why did the robber go !POP!... Because he was busted. EDIT: a little corney, but hey who gives a flying fuckaroo."