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Joke of the Day

"Growing old is a lot like grammar The past is perfect and the present, tense"

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"INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING."
"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking. Jk rowling"
"How many redditors does it take to answer an /r/AskScience question? [removed]"
"My kids tell me I drink too much. It's funny they don't make the connection."
"If you receive an e-mail that says: ''FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS'' Don't open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets."
"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob"
"You can't hear me! She: ""You are so deaf. You never hear me."" He: ""I heard you. I was just looking at my new watch."" She: ""Oh yeah? What kind is it?"" He: Six o'clock!"""
"A boy asked his rich uncle for a cowboy outfit for his birthday.So the uncle bought him a used car dealership."
"There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night The police told us to stay inside until they shot him"