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Joke of the Day

"I like my women how I like my cake. White, thick, moist, and in my mouth."

"Why was the hipster wearing a scarf during the summer? He liked wearing scarves before it got cool."

"Who stole the golden necklace? Was it a High Elf, a Nord or a Khajiit? The Khajiit."

"My boss told me to have a good day so I went home."

"[SCIENCE FAIR] ME: It's a Pez dispenser, but for hot Pop-Tarts. PRINCIPAL: This fair is for kids. OTHER PARENT: Shut up, let him finish."

"A deaf couple decide they want to break up... Boy: Girl: Boy: Girl: Boy: They went their separate ways and never heard from eachother again."

"Being a courteous dinner guest, I always offer to do the dishes. I'm not the one who's going to eat off them next. Quick rinse works for me."

"Why did the bee put on a yarmulka He didn't want anyone to think he was a WASP."

"I hate how my job always expects me to show up."

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? Take the 'F' out of safe and the 'F' out of way."