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Joke of the Day

"On this day in 1969, the 1st episode of Scooby Doo appeared on TV, beginning a golden age of teenagers getting high in the back of vans."

"Every night, I take all of the singles out of my wallet, spread them on the bed, and pretend I was pretty that day."

"What do you call a square peg that wonders if it could plug a round hole? Pi-curious."

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. His left ear, his right ear, and the final front ear."

"Andreas Lubitz. Is the first German pilot to record 150 kills in 70 years."

"Did you hear about the first time offender who was in to BDSM? He got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist."

"It seems that all my cans of whoop-ass are expired."

"Maybe she's boing with it. Maybe it's trampoline."

"""I piss off a lot of deaf people when I talk"" -Italians"

"Two fish are in a tank One is driving, the other is shooting Two soldiers are in a tank They drown"